Broken
And my relationship to that term
My therapist asked me to think about images to represent how I feel—like an empty bowl. I think how I feel is like those Japanese bowls that are repaired with gold that look so pretty. It’s called Kingsuti.
I do think there is beauty in brokenness.
I do feel broken most of the time—I know this is true for how my Enneagram 4 operates. But it’s also true because of my very dysfunctional family and all the suicides.
I think brokenness can be beauty; it creates compassion and empathy within us for others. I think when we recognize another’s brokenness we see their humanity. When we recognize it in ourselves we practice humility.
I don’t think it means that there hasn’t been any healing or transformation that has happened or any growth.
But many of us are all broken in some way. We live in a broken world with an awful lot of hurt. Most of us were broken in childhood and if not then, and it is usually then, it happens some time.
I told my students in discussing trauma with them—no one gets out unscathed in some way from this life.
I wish that I could only see the beauty in brokenness, but this is my work and why I’m in therapy. It is also largely for those with Complex-PTSD and PTSD.
I think though also that my favorite people in this world are some of the most broken. They have hearts of such depth and such perspective.
And I strive to be one of them.
To the broken—what interesting complexities are there in being whole anyway? We’re all fucked up some way.
That’s like saying someone’s normal.
And none of us fucking are.
Embrace your broken, I say and see how you grow and heal and transform in helping others. <3
and work at healing your wounds.