I struggle a great deal when people try to minimize their grief, trauma and hardships when they learn of my family story or are relating to me.
Each person has their right to own their own grief and trauma, on their own terms and in what it means for them.
I’m not the trauma police or trauma-verifier judge.
I read this quote today and it sums up how I feel about trauma, very well:
“Trauma permanently changes us.
This is the big, scary truth about trauma:
There is no such things as ‘getting over it’. The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss. But the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no ‘back to the old me’.
You are different now. Full Stop.
This is not a wholly negative thing.
Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not papering -over changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life—warts, wisdom and all—with courage.”
~Catherine Woodiwiss