Further experiences and reflections

And healing from Biofield Tuning sessions

This past week I had my first official biofield tuning session, at Love Sound Therapy in Denver, NC with Michelle.

I first some minimal sound therapy at a spa that I went to for spring break and after my friend—who I met through these writings published in themighty.com provided me a session that was a meridian flush.

I knew that I needed to do some more investment in this healing therapy.

During both of those initial sessions, I felt this inner, deep deep sense of relaxation. I found myself, again, doing involuntarily deep breathing and at other points, I kept smiling, without realizing it. I felt happy, relaxed, and even euphoric at other points.

So, I scheduled a few more sessions. At the recommendation of my friend, biofield tuning practitioner, Allison Smith, I am doing at least three to start off, over the next three weeks.

During my session this week, Michelle worked on my throat chakra. This chakra/energy center is connected with inability to express myself.

What intrigues me about the practice is the ability to recognize where/what areas or chakras (or what Eileen prefers to call as ‘energy centers’) are closed off.

Biofield anatomy also outlines/hypothesizes that certain areas outside of the body correspond to different ages, outward moving inward. There are even parts that connect to relationships and memories with our parents, and from ancestors/those who came before us, perhaps corresponding to some of the evolving fields of epigenetics and intergenerational trauma (called by different names—one being emotional inheritance by Galit Atlas).

It all sounds rather woo woo, I know.

Believe me, I get it. I thought that when I read it and when I heard it. I don’t think of myself as gullible. I am an academic and have—for a very long time—relied on my mind and intellect to help me understand things and navigate through life. And though I’m not as hardcore as a scientist, I have internalized the notion that we need/others must provide empirical proof, scientific study, western logic and modernity, etc, etc. I carry them, even as I try to reject them and know that they are problematic.

And it is extremely strange to put into words something I can’t really provide any rationale for, but, yet, I can’t deny my embodied experiences and how I felt.

Yet, after reading Eileen Day McKusick’s text, and others, and through my own experiences, I do believe this theory, her hypothesis, that there are traceable patterns in our stories/stored energy, memories, emotions, that are unprocessed. Eileen refers to them as file folders that store information. From a practioner’s standpoint, I get why she calls it that. For me, I prefer to think of it as the stories that we carry, within our bodies but also within our energy/aura/soul.

What struck me about the work the BT practitioner did on me, in my throat chakra on the left side, was how it corresponded to some very young ages with me. I have a pretty good memory, but what she was asking about, working on, where the forks were responding, was even beyond my ability—infancy, age two. Therefore, I had no memories corresponding to these points, but I certainly felt a range of emotions after hearing the sounds of the bioforks. I felt weepy and very emotional and cried quite a bit. Tears rolled down my cheeks, without me quite understanding why.

I did grow up in a volatile home. I am certain with an alcoholic father who was would yell and scream and swear, and I’m certain that wasn’t easy with two small children for my mother, especially having an infant who had suddenly appeared, but was not anticipated or intentionally planned.

It is such a strange sensation to cry and feel so sad and emotional over something that I could not remember, after just hearing certain sounds….

After describing the experience, my partner jokingly asked me if there were drugs involved.

I don’t blame him for asking; it certainly felt like it.

And yet, it was more intense and long lasting. It didn’t dissipate, get more intense, and with this, I didn’t experience a high and a fall or a crash, which is my experiences with alcohol and cannabis. It was consistent and even after the session, I felt happier and lighter. y partner jokingly asked me if there were drugs involved. I don’t blame him for asking; it certainly felt like it.

But it didn’t dissipate, get more intense, and with this, I didn’t experience a high and a fall or a crash, which is true with my experiences with alcohol and cannabis after the drug wears off. Rather, with this, it was consistent and even after the session, I felt happier and lighter.

Though I did get tired, after the session, it felt like a good fatigue, like I worked something that I was supposed and it was settling within my body. The only comparable experience I can describe it as…it similar to a good workout.

Later, that afternoon, I bathed with epson salts, as suggested, and walk with my feet on the earth. That night, I slept hard and well, which is significant for me, as someone who has struggled with sleep for twenty plus years. I’m a light sleeper, I frequently get up to use the bathroom, and sometimes for no reason at all. I’ve experienced bouts of insomnia related to depression and anxiety, chemical imbalances and PTSD, which can make it hard to fall asleep AND stay asleep.

Now, after a few days, I’ll say that I feel lighter, more relaxed. I am a chronic overthinker, worrier, and my mind is always moving. Getting it to calm to relax, to sleep, has never been a small task for me.

And existing in that mindspace, in this body, I know that. I know my norm. Therefore, I realize the differences in my body and mind since my session.

I am looking forward to more. The biofield tuning PT mentioned that I had some work to be on my throat chakra/energy center as well. I believe it.

This is the part that is related to grief, depression, trauma—so her observation that that part of me needs works, certainly makes sense.

I look forward to it, and I am intrigued by the way this biofield tuning can work within our earlier selves, our parents, and those before us.

Both biofield tuning practitioners that I worked with, and Eileen in her book, described this work as also benefiting those who came before us. How? If they’re dead, well, I guess this becomes a matter of faith.

But I do believe them. And I have come to believe that—even after we die—we exist as energy, what we may call our souls or spirits, exist as energy. I do not see this as incompatible with my faith, Anabaptism, Mennonite faith, a follower of Christ of how we are supposed to live in this world and treat other humankind with love, compassion, and serve them, just as He did.

And even if it is hogwash, quite frankly, I don’t see the harm in believing it. If I believe it within my heart and soul and mind and deepest self, then it’ll ring true for me and within me, and change me. It’ll help how I cope with the grief and the pain that my immediate family members and ancestors carried.

I still don’t entirely get it. But you know what? I’ve realized that—I don’t have to get it. I’m not that much of a skeptic, or someone who needs hard or tangible evidence, physical proof or scientific data to support what I believe. I do have faith and maybe it helps that I am kind of dumb when it comes to science. Seriously, I’ve also struggled. I was an A student but a remedial pupil of science, always.

Therefore, I accept things frequently that I have not understood/do not understand related to chemistry, physics, etc. How/why is this any different? I also think that the more education that I have gained the more deeply aware not only of all that I don’t know, but all that we (experts, western scientists) do not know.

And, as someone who is a Cultural Rhetorician and holds space for the indigenous knowledge dishonored, silenced, erased, I also frequently we’ve set ourselves back from learning because of our inabilities to learn from each other and other cultures, believing our own approaches to the world superior.

All of that to say—it’s okay that I don’t get it. I’m humble enough to just be eternally grateful that this knowledge has been shared with me. I am thankful for this moment in time, for these experiences, that I am privileged to have.

I take to heart what my friend, Allison told me—

“Your writing brought you to this healing.”

I had never really thought of it that way. I have higher aspirations for my writing than I have yet accomplished and the imposter voice rings strong in my writing efforts. Therefore, I minimize the efforts of this newsletter and my publications in the mighty. But, she was right.

If I had not written here, or in themighty, I wouldn’t have connected her, and I wouldn’t have learned about biofield tuning from her.

I think surrendering to the universe, that I am bringing healing to me, is exactly the right mindset and what makes this all worth it.

To trust that what I need and am calling out there is coming to me. The more I’ve let this fight and resistance go, the more I listen to myself, and trust that I am being directed, the more delightful surprises in my journey to healing that I have discovered. The more healing and therapy that I am receiving, which is my ultimate goal, that, and sharing my stories.

I’ll end with these quotes on that component of surrender that stuck with me from Eileen:

“As someone who has made a commitment to living life at the edge of creation, I’m telling you that the universe has far more amazing plans for you than you could concoct yourself—but those plans only materialize if you can let go of forcing your own agenda.”

“When you rest in your true self, you become an instrument of the universe—a clear note in the symphony of creation.”

Amen.