This year rather than going to Thanksgiving at my best friend’s house, where I am always welcome and I’m thankful for that, I instead tried something different—
I decided to just drive until I hit ocean.
For me, that was a straight shot south from Nashville to Orange Beach, Alabama. But that wasn’t all I wanted to do—
While I’ve taken solo trips before, I decided that I wasn’t going to talk to anyone—no texting or calling and no social media.
This was the incredibly different part.
Of course, I used my phone (google maps, google searches), etc. I’m not entirely off the grid (clearly, I’m writing this newsletter), but this is the closest that I’ve ever come.
Part of this stems from my decision when my narcissistic ex partner betrayed me and our relationship ended—I made a firm decision that I would not allow it me from going places, taking trips and being adventurous. Because when I had an honest conversation with myself about what I would miss from that relationship, rather than anything related to him, it was these experiences.
So, I thought, hell—I’m going to do them on my own! I’m single and I have the funds AND the time, so I’ll do it solo.
However, I also am extremely extroverted. I know we’re all on a spectrum of that intro/ambi/extroversion measurement, but I tip the scales pretty heavily that way. It challenges me to be alone and to not talk to others.
But I wanted to do this also because I use conversations and texts and other people to gear my emotions and moods, much like author Elizabeth Gilbert has described herself as doing.
I only have a few days to do this solo venture, so if I need to continue, I’ll do it during my winter break.
But, it’s my own little social experiment on myself—can I sustain myself? I know all the things I need to do in order to care for myself—
And so I am doing them all—good food and exercise and enough sleep and ocean (vitamin sea as it is cheesily known here), and what keeps me company are podcasts and songs on the way down here, and my books and my writing here—those voices and stories.
I am on a journey of self-discovery and growth. :)
I have also come to understand that if I can lean into my own thoughts and inner monologue, I have a pretty fascinating and complex mind. I am interesting—and truly, a lot more than mundane and insipid conversations that I have, with others, to be honest. Though I love people and get energy from being around others, but my productivity, in being a fully single autonomous woman as well as finishing my memoir, that is so very important to me, seemed to ride on this—
I am glad that I am doing it.
Have a nice holiday, all.