Imbalances as Deficit
I sat in a meeting this morning and someone was talking about Leadership positions and she said that she counted it as a blessing and asset that she did not struggle with biochemical imbalances, as some of her colleagues/friends did.
She was referring to anxiety and depression.
I paused when she said this and thought about it.
On the one hand, I appreciate that she understands that it’s not only a mental illness, but indeed a biological and chemical area - phrasing it like this is not just semantics, or empty rhetoric - it does make a difference. It does help to reduce the stigma.
I also appreciate that she is humble enough to realize that she does not have struggles that others do not have. And is able to recognize that and to imagine another’s lived, embodied reality.
But -
Here’s the other thing -
I don’t think it’s always a deficit, a struggle, or limitation to have anxiety.
I say this because both myself and my best friend and others that I have known - have what is known as high-functioning anxiety.
Sometimes - the anxiety can drive people to do more, to perform beyond, to be an over-achiever, a workaholic.
Now, is that always healthy? Of course not. And it can go the extreme and that also needs greater balance.
But, anxiety is not always a limitation to work performance, or to a leadership position.
There are all sorts of types of anxiety and depression.
I am struck again how these stand as catch-all terms we use to refer to so many different ‘conditions’ - where the symptoms of anxiety and depression stem from different root causes, diseases, reasons —
And they manifest in different ways.
This is not her fault - it’s a limitation of our language and it also speaks to how/why we need to know more about how anxiety manifests, outwardly.
I also know that this individual was speaking on behalf of her experiences with her friends, others who have anxiety. She does not struggle with this, and she was allowing others who have anxiety to speak from their knowledge, their body wisdom, of living with these conditions - since has no expertise in this.
All of that is humbling herself, compassionate and considerate - thinking beyond her own experience.
It is just interesting how sometimes when we try to make room for how anxiety is with some people, and how suicidal ideation is for some, and how depression is for some - can also end up sounding like it is representative of all with anxiety.
Or that this is the experience with anxiety.
I have had anxiety. I have many friends who struggle with anxiety. Many of my students do so. I have read a lot about others’ experiences with generalized anxiety disorder.
And it is amazing how vastly, vastly different experiences we all have with conditions under the same title.
Arguably true for all conditions - I am aware of that.
But, again, because mental health conditions (sometimes called mental illness) are still so stigmatized, that is why this instance gave me pause.
