Mama always said:
Nothing ever seems so bad after a good night's sleep
And she ought to know.
The woman who endured chronic insomnia, barely sleeping at all for some stints of time, like the year after my brother was born. Her post-partum depression rendered her chemically imbalanced and she barely slept with a screaming infant.
She would refer to this as “her dulling,” because it seemed to somehow affect her mind and clarity, the spark of life.
Now, I wonder how much of that was just the major depressive disorder she endured, but—
The point is, she knew well how badly it felt to be sleep deprived.
I am thankful to have never had to endured that long lasting insomnia.
Though I have had sleeping issues ever since I was a teenager and into my twenties.
I stopped sleeping at 19 and went on my first round of SSRIs. They helped.
But after the suicides, and the PTSD, sleeping grew to be an even bigger challenge.
It took a while to get to sleep and I often woke up early or in the middle of the night, unable to fall back asleep.
However, even when I did sleep, the quality of sleep was terrible. I woke up often and I slept very lightly.
Most of us have those experiences where we just don’t sleep as well, every once in a while, or perhaps, every great while, if you’re lucky.
That was my norm.
And still, I was thankful, because with the level of insomnia I had had, I knew that any sleep is better than no sleep.
At least I wasn’t laying awake all night long, then watching the sun come up, feeling like a person who has lost their mind.
After all, how can you be so exhausted that your eyes sting and burn, and you can barely keep them open, and yet, still-
STILL, you can’t fall asleep.
You feel a bit batty, and certainly, sleep deprivation is rough.
There’s a reason why it is used as a tactic of war, for torture.
This my history.
That is why, I cannot put into words how thankful I am to have finally gotten a medication that really helps me to sleep, without major side effects or that leaves me a groggy zombie the next day. (Although, to be real, that really didn’t affect me. I needed heavy stuff and even then it rarely worked, even the controlled substances and addictive sleeping pills.)
Quviviq, apparently works by blocking oxeone, a chemical that keeps you awake.
It is a Godsend.
I don’t think I have ever slept so well, ever, perhaps since I was a child. Certainly further back than I can remember.
Sleep is medicine and all seems like it will be okay when you can sleep.
Praise God for those pharmaceutical researchers who have come up with quviviq!
My mood, productivity, mindset are all improved, as is my anxiety.
:)
