My healing journey continues

into trying craniosacral therapy

My good friend told me about craniosacral therapy which are very slight touches to certain small bones in the face, and also placing hands on your sacrum in order to guide the body into healing itself.

To help it to return to a state of homeostasis and to release trauma embedded in the body. To get the cranio fluids flowing in new and different ways.

Yeah, it sounded bizarre to me too.

Yet, I have found the strangest sounding things that help my body to release the trauma embedded in my tissues and brains and eyes are the things that have the greatest impact on my overall health.

I will say that during the process, I felt like I was in a deep state of relaxation, almost a trance. I felt like I had a weighted blanket over me.

There were a few times I jerked involuntarily like my body does before falling asleep sometimes.

At other points, I felt my eyes moving rapidly and involuntarily from side to side. Like R.E.M. sleep state.

Bizarre.

Later that day, I was absolutely exhausted. I burst into tears over my breakup and loss and betrayal.

But the next day, I felt very thirsty. I also felt more cold than usual. It wasn’t even a very cold day in MN, like today, which was -10 degrees.

I also had a bizarre sensation in the middle of my head. Almost a slight headache.

But I do feel lighter.

It was an interesting experience. I’ll do this two more times.

And I’ll do an egg experience at a Chakra Sound Garden with light and sound therapy on Monday.

Some people have said that they are impressed I keep trying things.

I just keep saying, I don’t want to suffer. I want to heal.

I want to try things. I trust knowledges of other cultures and people who have studied and lived beyond my own experiences. Beyond western medicine.

I don’t want CBT or DBT therapy, psychotherapy. I think that’s a wonderful thing. But I know that, for me, EMDR was much more effective.

I could talk about things until I was blue in the face and think and process them.

Truth be told, I’m a pretty deep thinker and I had thought many things therapists and psychologists would offer me.

But them or me thinking them did not un-traumatize me or release the trauma from my body.

I still experience spikes in my cortisol levels and times of anxiety and insomnia. I still jump out of my skin when someone gently knocks on my office door or says ‘hi’ softly.

I never used to do that.

I know that it is not normal.

I also know that I will be on a healing journey until the day I die.

It is both my burden and my opportunity and privilege.

It is my continuous, evolving and ongoing story.

Stay tuned…