My Remedies

Treating my Mental Illness

My therapist had me make a list of the things that I do or have done differently from my family, in addressing my trauma, depression, anxiety, mental health.

This was helpful because I have struggled with the influences that my family has had on me, how they’ve impacted me, against my will.

When you come from a dysfunctional family, you know it. And it can be hard not to feel broken.

Now, I get that there is no normal family and all families have their problems. Indeed. There can be aspects that aren’t healthy without the entire family being dysfunctional.

When you have a parent who has an addiction, you develop roles within the family, to protect the one with an addiction and to appear normal and functional to outsiders.

I am thankful to have been a part of a theatre troupe that taught me this. And my mother who emphasized this to me countless times while growing up.

Despite knowing this, I know that I have retained some of these roles and survival and coping mechanisms. That I have had to unlearn.

So, all of that to say, I needed to work through that with my therapist.

She had me do an exercise to make a list of all of the ways that I did not choose my family’s path.

The biggest thing I discovered was this—I haven’t given up. And I keep trying new things to try to improve the hand that I have been dealt and to manage my depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc.

So, I have read a lot about my conditions and those with similar experiences. I have tried exercise and workout regiments. I have tried gut health cleanses and worked on improving the microbiome of my gut. I have practices hot 26 (formerly known as Bikram) yoga. I have taken supplements like l-theanine, ashwangha, valerian root, and melatonin to help me sleep. I have tried cbd oils and cbg gummies to help me relax and to try to improve the quality of my sleep.

I have tried EMDR therapy for months, working on reprocessing and releasing the trauma from my body.

I have adjusted my anti-depressants and began taking anxiety medication to improve my mental state.

I’ll talk more about length about each of these, and hope they have helped my mental state, but the one thing that I hope to convey through this story and through my experiences and those of loved ones is this—

—Don’t give up hope because there are options out there. There are things to try.

There are all sorts of resources and help and with them, you could feel much, much differently than you do now..

Thankfully, we live in a time and for, Americans, we have money and insurance and resources available to us.

We can try different things and try we should.

I know, believe me, that this is so hard to try when you’re in a hole, in the fetal position and can barely get out of bed and function at the most bare minimum.

But, I also remember my mother, who gave such great advice, but was unable to take it herself.

When I was having serotonin withdrawal and very off/chemically imbalanced from being on the incorrect anti-depressant:

“Danielle, there is no use suffering when there is help available.”

I wish my brother could have heard this, believed it, and heeded the message.

There *is* help available.

Let’s promote that message.