Power in Wounds

& Power in my Story

“There is power in your story.”

“There is power in your wounds.”

~Kemi Nekvapil

I believe this. I do. I think it ties well with my previous post about the importance of owning your own story.

Understanding the depth, the intensity of my wounds, has been pivotal in my own journey of healing. But I also see it as powerful in supporting others. Ultimately, I am starting to see it as harnessing my power, owning my own fortitude, strength, resiliency, endurance, all of what I have come to learn is my survivorship.

One of the things that has become increasingly obvious to me—the universe keeps sending me messages about is that I need to…must…have to write my own story.

I have stopped myself. And often.

I have stopped myself for many reasons—the voice of inner critic, imposter syndrome, perfectionist, oppressor that I don’t have enough time,

Sometimes I think that while I have a story, that many people don’t want to hear it because it is also depressing AF.

A person once told me, whew! That’s heavy. It is, but that’s also my life, my story. It’s heavy.

Suicide is pretty inescapably heavy.

But it is also part of the reason why it continues to not be talked about enough. This silence contributes to the stigmatization, and I would argue, more suicides, sadly.

Getting started with writing this newsletter has helped. it is obviously much less daunting to write a newsletter entry than a book.

Though, I keep getting bombarded with messages, so many and so frequent that it is reaching almost absurd heights:

I obviously am meant to do more in sharing my whole story than I am doing now.

I thank you all for giving me a space in which to compose bits and pieces of my story. Even as I transition and pivot to writing a memoir on my journey.

The ironic thing part of this all, in considering my hesitancy, is this:

I am a Writing Professor. I know the approaches. I know writing is a skill, a practice, something you must do, otherwise you get rusty. I know it takes thinking, not just writing but a lot of revising. I know it’s messy. I know the hardest part is getting started. I know amazing things are built from shitty first drafts.

I KNOW all these things. I tell my college students them. I tell my teaching assistants to tell their college students. In a few short weeks, I’m going to tell some version of this to English educators in Minnesota.

I guess it’s high time I heeded my own advice.

<3

And got started.