I spend a lot of time lately protecting my solitude, guarding my peace, and in doing so, safeguarding my nervous system.
I fought a long time for my own mental health, working to release the trauma from my body, getting sober, and minimizing people from my life that were not aligned with who I wanted to be and what I wanted my life to be.
I am working to heal, to evolve, to grow, and the transform.
I have spent a lot of time doing so, and I continue to spend a lot of time in that space, often hours, daily, in some sort of reflection or work to heal myself or to evolve and grow.
Either through journaling, meditating, praying, exercising, reading, writing, processing, feeding myself well —
I protect my peace now.
Now that I am finally calm enough and I trust myself to be my own safe person—that I am with myself and I’ve got me— I have little desire to let in people who are toxic, dishonest, insecure, small-minded people who are quick to want to gossip about others or find reasons to put others down, in hopes of elevating themselves to feel better about their own sense of poor self esteem, insecurity, etc.
I am not perfect. And I am not beyond judgment.
That’s not what I am saying.
But I have learned that much like rotten fruit, when you surround yourself with those types of people, with those influences and tendencies, suddenly you will also be the strawberry growing fuzzy mold.
You will not recognize yourself and what you can breed within you in that sort of place, surrounded with those types of people.
It’s better to take yourself out of that environment, give yourself a good washing, adjusting your atmosphere so you can thrive in a better area.