Rethinking "addictive personality"
I was forewarned from a young age, by my mother, that I came from a long list of alcoholics and to be careful. Both about my use and abuse of alcohol and also because children of alcoholics are usually attracted to other children of alcoholics.
I know my mother meant well but she also made it sound like a foregone conclusion that I would end up with an alcoholic.
I think about this as well as the ways in which we classify people and individuals themselves self-label as having “addictive personalities.”
Is there such a thing? An inevitable conclusion? Really?
I am no longer convinced.
I think what it is, rather, is trauma. Lived, embodied experiences of trauma as well as intergenerational trauma.
Addictions and alcohol abuse order are ritual coping mechanisms. We find ourselves doing them more and more, to escape, to manage pain, to calm ourselves down—our nervous systems, from the fight or flight, to temper the anxiety, allow the depression to lift for even a shorter period of time.
Of course, substance abuse is not the answer, as the pain and depression and anxiety comes back full force. But, is it someone’s personality? Or is it someone’s pain?
Rather than ask if someone is an addict, perhaps it’s the wrong question. Perhaps the better question is—what happened to you? What is your trauma? Have you ever calmed your nervous system and taught regulation and somatic healing?
If they have done so, and they still have an “addictive personality,” then I’ll be convinced.
Until then, from all I’ve read about the trauma experts, the MDs, the Psychologists, and the Somatic healing therapists, they all agree—
Trauma affects the mind and body. That is our own individual experiences. Couple that with our intergenerational trauma, our intergenerational nervous systems.
So, again, is it addictive personalities? Or is it trauma of both our experiences, in our lifetimes and trauma of our ancestors?