Scars, Brokenness, Gratitude and Purpose

Photo by Shane on Unsplash

I just finished reading Mind Magic, by the late Dr. Jim Doty, who was a very impressive individual.

I’ll write about the manifestation and neuroplasticity in another post.

But for now, a few of the parts that really stood out to me was the point about how through brokenness we become more of ourselves and are able to fulfill our purpose. Often times that which breaks us helps enable us to serve others and become more in touch with our divine calling, which I believe.

I appreciated that he emphasized kintsungi - which I’ve written about her as well - the Japanese art of repairing glassware with gold. And of wabi-sabi, understanding that we are all frail, fragile, worn and imperfect.

Doty writes:

“Kintsungi embodies the recognition that the nature of life results at times in us being broken, but it is the very nature of this brokenness and the repair that defines who we are. These scars define humanity: every one of us is a frail, fragile human being who is struggling in some way and feels that no one else is struggling as they are. And yet, we can proud of our scars and not feel sufficient or ashamed and try to hide them. They are living proof of our resilience written on our bodies and hearts.”

And - that there is beauty in that.

It seems so obvious. And perhaps it is.

But so much of our culture suggests otherwise - especially with emphasis on youth and lofty ideal beauty standards. Especially for women.

We don’t revere women with their gray and white hair and their wrinkles - which is a shame, because they have such wisdom and life experience to offer.

I also have grown to believe that they shine with an inner light from their natural beauty that is unparalleled.

Though certainly not recognized by American mainstream, whitewashed, western culture.

I also appreciate the emphasis on scars, in that they allow us to see our full potential. And to follow suit with kintsungi, the scar is what brings out the gold.

And, how he emphasized the great paradox of life, in which he says:

The great paradox of life - “Only when we believe we are enough in ourselves do we find the ability to contribute to life, but only in contributing to our world do we discover, we are inherently enough.”

I also appreciated how he emphasized the importance of gratitude - not in trite platitude- be thankful for what you have statement -

But emphasizing the research and studies done that illustrate how it can make people not only happier and more content, but also kinder, more empathetic and generous with other people.

He wrote:

"Researchers...were then able to conclude that the emotion of gratitude gives the subject a feeling of being supported and a desire to support others, as well as a sense of relief from stress.

The lasting sensitization that gratitude offers has wide-ranging benefits, including psychological protection. Another study found that among adolescents, feelings of gratitude show an inverse correlation with the feelings of victimization from bullying and the accompanying suicide risk. The support we get from feeling gratitude can strengthen us when we face adversity and sweeten our experience of being helped along the way."

Gratitude is a very powerful practice because it requires us to see how we've been supported and affirmed by others.

No matter how far along we are, recognizing and appreciating the gifts we've been given naturally inspires us to repay them or find opportunities to pay them forward, which in turn helps others open to the magic in their own lives."

Essentially, there is neuroscientific support that having gratitude and practicing regular gratitude can alter our brains, personality, health, mindset, and overall welfare.

It’s pretty potent stuff.

I reflect on that when I consider my own practice of gratitude.

After I went to jail, and could very nearly have lost everything, I started a daily practice of gratitude list, prayer list, meditations on AA reflections and a Bible verse.

I have continued that ever since.

That - sobriety - the 12 steps - a renewed relationship with God - have all changed my attitude in intense and excruciating ways.

There is nothing that makes you more grateful for the little things that you have that you take for granted than going for jail -

Or perhaps, a major health crisis/problem - or almost losing someone - but I think even almost losing someone - we forget.

I still keenly remember jail and still corrsepond with several friends I met who are still there.

I can easily recall what it was like and how uncomfortable and what I lacked -

And I have so much to grateful for. It’s sobering, it’s humbling. And I am so appreciative of my renewed lens of approaching life, a refreshed perspective.

Blessed. And thankful to God.

And thankful to all of you readers, mysubstack community.