Shifting Your Perspective

A valuable lesson

Though I try to be self-reflective and open-minded to another side to a topic, aware that that our mindset often dictates how we view things…..

I fail sometimes.

After my last post, I had a conversation with a dear friend of mine. We were talking about mutually shared experiences of losing loved ones to suicide.

She. made a comment that got me thinking about this infamous ‘suicide club’.

While I do think it’s important to name it and hold place for that, if that is your story, it is also equally important to not end the story there.

Obviously, I am still learning this. Because my journey of moving beyond survivor to thriver/pattern breaker is a role I’m still stepping into.

But my friend said something, and though it’s something she’s said to me before, it struck me:

“We are also pattern breakers.”

And that is where we need to dwell.

To acknowledge the suicide, but then pivot, shifting the identity of our club membership, so that our agenda lies in the—so then, now what? What do we do with this NOW?

We choose to identify as cycle breakers. In doing so, we reclaim our power. We didn’t choose the suicide portion, but we are working toward healing, and that journey requires work. A helluva lot of work. But it’s a better path to be on, a better mindset to have, a better club to join.

This FEELS better because it also involves finally taking our agency over the gray cloud that sometimes feels like it looms over us, as family suicide survivors.

What can be in our hands now:

What is next? Next we work toward healing from trauma. We become cycle breakers, as people affected by suicide, yes, but rejoicing that we are ones who didn’t hop on the suicide bandwagon or take the dysfunctional train loop of victim party or self medicating, that we choose life and healing instead.

In doing so, we create new patterns.

Pattern Breaking Club? Cycle Shatterer? Hell, yes!

Now that’s a club I would happily join, sporting their t-shirt, and proudly showing my membership.