In the recent years, I have been rather leery of Valentines Day. At points, admittedly, downright cynical. The quintessential embittered single person on this heavily commercialized ‘Romance Love’ Day. At those points, it was not a happy day for me.
On those years, I would also chuckle at the common retort of “Happy Papperclip Awareness Day’ to offshoot the more commonly celebrated Valentines’ Day.
The day could also be struggle because it reminded me of my mother’s absence. She was always so thoughtful and good at getting little gifts for me to celebrate any holiday, including Valentines Day. The absence of not anything from her, served as yet another jarring reminder that she is gone.
And yet, in the past few years or so, I have had read many books and listened to many podcasts that have reshaped my view of the vitally important role that women friendships could play and how they have defined in my life.
This book, the Other Significant Other outlines this situation. I heard it referenced on a podcast today and I will order it and read it. But, essentially, it looks at a few other women’s models of friendships and how they work in their lives, it asks the question—what if sexual love was not the defining relationship in life? What could that look like? Lifelong platonic life mates or partners?
I think it could be a beautiful thing. And if it were more common and widely accepted, perhaps there would be less loneliness in this country?
For years now, I have called my best friend my soulmate. And after reading Dr. Tererai Trent’s book, Empowered Women, I have acquired the word “sahwira” to my lexicon. ‘Sahwira’ is a Shona word that essentially means a sacred, soul sister.
This depth of friendships that you may have, that women often have, does not get the attention in our culture that it so desperately deserves. For the ways in which it can influence us and fulfill us.
But, I do think that that is changing in recent years.
The phrase, Galentines, was originally created from the tv show, “Parks and Recreation,” as a day to celebrate female friendships.
I consider this and all of the beautiful testaments to the wonderful and profound love, the depth of fulfillment that can come from women friendships, or any other platonic friendship.
We don’t need Galentines to celebrate if, or only when, we lack a partner with whom we have a sexual relationship.
Rather, re-imagining friendships so that they could become at the center or core of the foundational relationships of your life, instead—what a lovely sentiment.
And, for those of us lucky enough to nod in agreement to that, thinking of your person, for those of us who have those friends, these touchstones of our lives—
Well, we are truly the fortunate and blessed ones.