They Bring it On Themselves

Stigma of Substance Abuse...

Photo by Daniel Tseng on Unsplash

I sat in a place of worship yesterday and expressed concern for man who has been seen in the neighbhorhood drinking in his truck.

He nods off in it.

He smells of alcohol.

The police and ambulance have been called on him.

We were talking about him yesterday.

I said I felt badly for him - I do.

I know he’s in pain.

Someone said - “I feel bad too, but they bring it on themselves.”

With a look of dismissal, judgment, arrogance.

Ironically, the worship went on to discuss the passage in the Bible that references how God detests a proud look.

But I’ve been thinking about this.

Because I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and writing and reading about mental health stigma.

But, since yesterday, I have been thinking about the stigma surrounding substance abuse disorders, alcoholism, etc.

Like -

—You brought it on yourself

—You’re just weak

—You don’t have enough faith or belief/conviction in God -

You hear the same ones about mental illnesses and mental health conditions. There are striking similarities.

I think it’s unfortunate that sometimes the most judgmental people end up in church, loudly proclaim to follow Jesus, and become the face for Him -

And can be some of the most quick to condemn others - about these stigmas and a whole host of other issues.

It reminds me of that quote -

“I love your Christ, but your people are so not like your Christ.”

Empathizing with the addict is difficult for some people.

I used to feel that way too - as a teenager. My anger at my father, as his wounded child, made me loathe the bottle - that it took priority with him, how angry and volatile it made him, how much he stressed out and hurt and affected my mother, how badly he behaved, etc, etc.

But -

It’s not only that I became an alcoholic myself.

It’s also that - I read.

And I listen to people’s stories.

And here’s the thing -

We don’t know what life circumstances people have had that have driven them to this point.

We don’t know their options and limited support. Their lack of family or social connections, their wounds -

And if you can’t imagine turning to substance abuse, it is also possible that -

—You don’t struggle with the same wounds, mental health conditions -

—You haven’t undergone some trauma -

—You’ve had the mental health help you needed -

—You had family or social support or connections to family or friends or community -

Because all of the above, statistically, are much more likely if someone developed a substance abuse disorder.

We find all sorts of ways to feel better about our own shortcomings, sins, whatever you want to call them -

If we can separate those who abuse substances and have chemical dependency, into a us/them mindset.

I am not like them because — they bring it on themselves.

We humans, we bring a lot of things on ourselves - obesity, heart disease, diabetes, poor health due to diet and exercise, this line could go on and on -

We just expect/allow for some support and understanding of some conditions over others -

That is the stigma.

Your ‘thing’ that you struggle with is worse than mine.

You brought it on yourself.

The whole logic of you brought it on yourself fails to display humility or compassion or empathy for another human being.

And - my heart breaks for this man.

And I also think - how very unlike the Jesus I know and read about -

If we were truly more like Him, maybe we would have greater love and mercy and compassion for those in the community with substance abuse disorders.

Maybe we could see that a whole host of maladaptive human behaviors, like substance abuse, are due to pain, intolerance, a lack of resources, lack of therapy and medication, lack of connection and money and social support.

“Before we judge their solutions, make sure you know their choices.”

We don’t know their pain -

Their choices -

We don’t know their experiences, what led them there -

And if we did, or to even to take a moment and take stock that we don’t know their pain that led them there -

Maybe we could hold a moment of compassion and love for them -

just as we are called to -

especially in a church, that follows a Jesus of compassion, mercy, and empathy and service and humility.