Trauma begets Trauma
~Prentice Hemphill
Ever heard that expression “hurt people hurt people?”
So is also the case with trauma.
Unfortunately, and heartbreakingly true, but so often those who are traumatized and abuse often contribute to the abuse and trauma of others.
The victim becomes the victimizer. Especially if they only play the victim hard.
I get it. It’s not fun to go to therapy and heal.
But really, it’s the only way.
The wounds may have been your fault, true and hard to hear, but adult accountability requires that you know that still the healing is your responsibility, especially if you want to not cause harm to others.
Because we do—harm others…even if we don’t meant to do so. We still hurt other people.
But—there is at least hope, hope in that some hurt people choose to heal and not to hurt people, to repeat old patterns and tired old cycles. These folks instead choose to get therapy and support and help, and work to heal themselves, and heal their emotional wounds and not participate/contribute to intergenerational trauma.
I choose to be one of those people.
I wholeheartedly believe that even though I don’t have my own children, that survived this earthly realm, that still, through my own healing, I contribute to the healing of my bloodline, my ancestors that have walked on. I not only heal myself but I also heal and help others through my relationships, in the space that I take up and occupy in this world. Which is to say that heal myself to be the best version of me, in service to my work, my students, my friends, my neighbors, my family and any other relationships that I have now or may ever hold.
This is my legacy, the greatest contribution I may in my life.
I choose to live on. But I also choose to heal. To get better. To address intergenerational trauma and emotional inheritance and my epigenetics.
I was born in a space and time with a lot of information and education and technology so that I may do so. I can read. I can access and learn and reach out for support and resources and do the work.
So I will do so.
As mama always said, “there’s no use in suffering when there is help available, Danielle.”
Amen, Mama. Amen.
We may be a traumatized family, but the cycle broke with me. It ran in the family until it ran into me.
Instead, I choose not only life, not to off myself, but also to live a better quality of life, after first addressing my grief and trauma and mental health needs.
This way of life is so much more gratifying then anything I could ever have envisioned at one point in time, a few years ago.
For that, I am grateful.
<3