Trauma Spectrum
Mate's perspective
I appreciate that in The Myth of Normal, authors Mate note that must of all of us have some trauma.
He suggests that perhaps rather than think about trauma as only dire things, the worst possible imaginable situations, that happen to only some of us—
That is far better to instead think of us all as existing on a trauma spectrum.
The point here is not to rank traumas or to compare, but, rather, to situate the truth and reality that most of us have some traumatic experience(s).
I also think the point in situating trauma as a spectrum is also to honor our own multiple traumas. For those of us who have the one big defining event of trauma, or ongoing traumas through abuse, racism, poverty, living in war-torn countries, etc, we all may have a wealth of experiences that constitute trauma…
Unfortunately. Sadly.
The Mates point out that it is far more apt to understand and acknowledge our own lived, embodied experiences and to honor the ways in which they affect us.
Therefore, if we have trauma—also understood as some event has caused us to get stuck, and our mind and body have not been able to incorporate and process what has happened to us—
Regardless of the specific event, and how it ranks comparatively to other people’s experiences—
We may have trauma.
I find this important—to normalize trauma.
It’s unfortunate that we live in such a world that is rife with human suffering and tragedies of unspeakable proportions—
So much so that most of humanity can relate to some tragedy, loss, suffering, trauma—
Regardless of how they frame, define, or describe it.
And yet, what positive may this have, if we can accept that—
We all have gone through some shit…
Might that not perhaps help to make us more compassionate people? More empathetic?
(For those functional folks that have that capacity to imagine, understand and feel for another person, another human being’s experience.)
Might it then help for us to hold more space for one another’s stories and how they shaped us?
To feel for our fellow humans.
Ah. Sigh.
Dream with me, folks.
I often write about using spectrums as frameworks. I believe we all exist on a mental health spectrum and also all exist on a creativity spectrum and my work is at the intersection of how those overlap.
But recently, I've been exploring new frames that are slightly less linear but still apply (spirals, keyboards?) ... this post gets into it: https://createmefree.substack.com/p/is-the-depression-spectrum-really
I think it's helpful because sometimes our linear brains still look at a spectrum and think "oh well mine's over here so it's not as bad as those over there" ... which, as you are clear about, isn't true at all. We all have our experiences and there's no comparing even though our brains are primed to constantly compare.
Yes to normalizing trauma as a universal experience that we can all relate to and heal from together.
BAM! You’ve finally hit exactly what I be needed to hear, especially because repeated trauma disrupted the ability of my mental health to function at a functional level. I struggled through my childhood with abuse, unknowingly carrying problems, yet I was able to graduate from a good college with a bachelors degree, enjoy living in a large metropolitan area, participate in an intensive sport, and eventually marry a successful man. I lived the good life.
It all looked so good on paper, and in photos.
But there were deep-seated problems that developed because of my marriage. I was badly abused by a narcissist, nearly 1,000 from anyone who could help me. And it was s systemic to his family. You would have thought his sister was his wife, not me. After he died in our Ruth year of marriage, my freedom only unrolled the outer layer of mental health problems, the one evident from the marriage. PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression. Paranoia also became prevalent.
My mind unrolled into hallucinations. I had bouts of anger at the drop of a hat. I alienated people with accusations. Everyone was talking about me I was sure. I stopped going outside.
But these were only more symptoms.
Layers of abuse from years led me also to BPSD, and Schizoaffective disorder, I’m sure relating back to my childhood.
These layers have given me relief, instead of blunt diagnosis of so many things. My abuse didn’t happen overnight. It started when I was three. I’m now 58.
For years I lived in a shell, living as a social chameleon, in order to survive and succeed. I met my match with a narcissist when I was trapped. It was a living hell.
Layers of mental health trauma affected me in different ways at different times. Ebbing and flowing with stress. A few months ago I found a book, “Relationship Rescue” by Dr. Phil back in the early 2000s that I had given to my husband to share as a second copy, hoping to improve our marriage. I thought i threw it away.
Reading the resurfaced copy brought bad feelings of entrapment, confusion, and lies back to me.
I decided to take it to my therapy session. I told my Therapist to, “Meet Lee in his own words.” By the surveys he completed, previously unbeknownst to me. She looked his answers over in somewhat of a horrific look on her face.
At the end of the session I tossed the book in her trash can and left.