I often times wonder why I write. Suicide isn’t a fun topic. I don’t expect if—hopefully when—I get my memoir published—people will go,
"Oh, I’m dying to read that!” — like you do the fascinating memoirs of people’s travel tales, or how they achieved their dreams from meager beginnings, —
I often think this. I’m writing about suicide- why will anyone want to read this? I then have to remind myself that when not only one but two and possibly more loved ones in our family are lost by suicide writing becomes survival. It’s a tool to clutch at life. We pull ourselves out of the darkest pit to survive, grow and thrive wholeheartedly after our hearts have been broken.
I remind myself that we need to celebrate and share our stories as we are somehow finding life, love, and joy alongside the deepest pain. That’s powerful and positive, and maybe others will be interested. Or if they have a similar lived experience, then maybe they’ll feel less alone. I definitely feel less alone reading your posts.
Absolutely, Piata. We write for ourselves and for other suicide survivors. And--as I'm sure you know well--unfortunately, there are a lot more of us suicide survivors than people realize/like to think there are.
Much of this I could have written myself. It’s interesting to compare and contrast within our community but as you explain it’s much more helpful for our own unique experience to be witnessed for healing ❤️🩹
"Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces. Trauma survivors heal when shame is alleviated, and we do that when others bear witness to our stories." Yes to this, all of this. I found your post through Esther Stanway-Williams, and I am so sorry we all are part of the grief circle of those left behind after a suicide loss. I have been trying to find my people here on Substack (I am new), and post by post, I'm slowly finding people like Esther, like you.
I'm working on a piece right now about survivorship bias, and it's not ready yet, but your post gave me some food for thought. We definitely don't have enough hard conversations about suicide, and people don't want to read about suicide unless they have been impacted. But I decided to write what needs to be told (nod to Anne Lamott) and to, as you said beautifully, to write the book my younger self needed. 💜
Molly, Welcome - Thanks for reading and commenting. I am glad that you are finding healing and community here. Love that you quoted Anne Lamott; she's a favorite of mine too. I look forward to reading more of your work. I hope that this space, the substack community provides you with solidarity, love and support, as you write from your own lived, embodied experiences, your truth...as we all also carve out our own healing, side by side on here. :)
I have a masters degree in English composition and communication. What is the best way to send it to you? Would you prefer PDF or hardcopy? Send me a private message on Substack please…
I often times wonder why I write. Suicide isn’t a fun topic. I don’t expect if—hopefully when—I get my memoir published—people will go,
"Oh, I’m dying to read that!” — like you do the fascinating memoirs of people’s travel tales, or how they achieved their dreams from meager beginnings, —
I often think this. I’m writing about suicide- why will anyone want to read this? I then have to remind myself that when not only one but two and possibly more loved ones in our family are lost by suicide writing becomes survival. It’s a tool to clutch at life. We pull ourselves out of the darkest pit to survive, grow and thrive wholeheartedly after our hearts have been broken.
I remind myself that we need to celebrate and share our stories as we are somehow finding life, love, and joy alongside the deepest pain. That’s powerful and positive, and maybe others will be interested. Or if they have a similar lived experience, then maybe they’ll feel less alone. I definitely feel less alone reading your posts.
Absolutely, Piata. We write for ourselves and for other suicide survivors. And--as I'm sure you know well--unfortunately, there are a lot more of us suicide survivors than people realize/like to think there are.
Much of this I could have written myself. It’s interesting to compare and contrast within our community but as you explain it’s much more helpful for our own unique experience to be witnessed for healing ❤️🩹
"Shame dies when stories are told in safe spaces. Trauma survivors heal when shame is alleviated, and we do that when others bear witness to our stories." Yes to this, all of this. I found your post through Esther Stanway-Williams, and I am so sorry we all are part of the grief circle of those left behind after a suicide loss. I have been trying to find my people here on Substack (I am new), and post by post, I'm slowly finding people like Esther, like you.
I'm working on a piece right now about survivorship bias, and it's not ready yet, but your post gave me some food for thought. We definitely don't have enough hard conversations about suicide, and people don't want to read about suicide unless they have been impacted. But I decided to write what needs to be told (nod to Anne Lamott) and to, as you said beautifully, to write the book my younger self needed. 💜
Molly, Welcome - Thanks for reading and commenting. I am glad that you are finding healing and community here. Love that you quoted Anne Lamott; she's a favorite of mine too. I look forward to reading more of your work. I hope that this space, the substack community provides you with solidarity, love and support, as you write from your own lived, embodied experiences, your truth...as we all also carve out our own healing, side by side on here. :)
I have two brothers who died young of suicide. I have a memoir. I could send it to you. I’m very grateful I found your Substack.
I would love to read your book, Mimi.
I have a masters degree in English composition and communication. What is the best way to send it to you? Would you prefer PDF or hardcopy? Send me a private message on Substack please…
Nice - my doctorate is in Rhetoric and Writing, very similar.
dr.danielle.donelson@gmail.com
I just now sent you an email.
Thank you, Mimi. I responded and look forward to reading your work whenever you send it along. :)